I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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