on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
