I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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