Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
