i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
