I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
