Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
