I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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