And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize