Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize