I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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