Don't you send me to vm
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
