I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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