Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
