she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize