i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
