Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
