I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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