I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
