It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize