Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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