put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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