forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
