after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Randomize
