just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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