let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
