shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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