i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
