I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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