you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Vodka?
Forever.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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