I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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