Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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