reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize