He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
