I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
