R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
