I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
