You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
