it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
