I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
