you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
