There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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