it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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