I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
