And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
