You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
did you just send me my own nude
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
