i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
