Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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