BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
