3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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