just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Randomize
