Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize