You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
