I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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