a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize