dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize