I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
