You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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