Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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