i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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