No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
