Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
