I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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