The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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